


Film Noir

by Tallulah



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-15
Updated: 2015-02-15
Packaged: 2018-03-13 01:42:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3363107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tallulah/pseuds/Tallulah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rose speculates on the reasons why someone might develop an alcohol problem.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Film Noir

You are not sure of your motivations for doing this.

There are any number of psychological theories that you, or an observer, could put forward. _Shall we start with the obvious?_ you ask, even though no one's watching this time. (Well, no one visible. You think you heard a clank in the air vents, but let's not bring that strand of the story in yet.) _No, not the obvious. The simple._

That you are bored. That three years on a meteor with a bunch of bad-tempered aliens isn't all it's cracked up to be (if it was ever cracked up to be anything in the first place). That there's a limit to how much bickering or exploration of your sexuality you can do when there's nothing _else_ to do. 

That you resent the way that your adolescence is speeding past you, like the endlessly-scrolling black outside. (The addition of similes. Already the alcohol is taking effect.) That you were looking forward to another four to five years of passive-aggressive defiance and maladjusted teenage exploration of boundaries.

God knows what she'd have said or done if you got yourself pregnant, or threw a wild party and trashed the house, or whatever else it is you were meant to have been doing with your time. 

(Ah. Yes. Now we're getting to the more Freudian interpretations. Although you're not sure if it can be called Freudian if there's no sex involved. You would probably know the answer if you hadn't already drunk most of this martini.)

It's so trite to even _theorise_ that it's any of the following: trauma at seeing her dead; a pitiable attempt to reconstruct what was, for you, normality; an obvious way to seem _like a grown-up_ \- like a _mother_ ; a distraction from the knowledge that before too long you'll be meeting her again, a different her, a _girl like you_ , and that it's entirely likely this will hold a simplistic mirror up to you and reflect back – reflect back - 

You are distracted by the halogen light above you glinting on the dregs of the liquid in your glass, which is probably a good thing. You drain the last few drops. You think, actually, that these familial-based motives are just you trolling yourself with psychotherapy. You think that it's only natural for someone who's seen and heard as much as you have (horrorterrors, and other things) to have developed a few mildly self-destructive habits. (Once you've officially gone grimdark, aren't you _obligated_ to develop an addiction?) 

There's no need to start inventing dramas on top of that.

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the LiveJournal community '12daysChristmas' at the end of 2013. Also the first HS fic I wrote.


End file.
